We all feel fear sometimes.
You might feel anxious about the idea of starting a new job, or nervous because you’re going on a date after months of being single. Sometimes, you may not even be able to ascribe a reason to your fear. For instance, plenty of people suffer from a fear of snakes or spiders, but they’re not sure why they feel so afraid when they see one of those creatures up close.
Fear is a very natural and important characteristic of humanity. We use our fears to decide where the lines around our comfort zone should be drawn. With fear, we can even avoid dangerous things. For instance, if you’re afraid of falling from the top of a building, you’re very unlikely to go and stand close to edge.
However, while fear has its place in our lives, it can also become a problem when we don’t know how to control it. For instance, vulnerability and fear are common when we’re exploring new and unknown experiences. However, if you never step outside of your comfort zone, then you’ll never have a chance to discover what you’re truly capable of.
What’s more, our feelings of fear have a habit of changing the way that we behave. If you’re a fearful person who suffers from regular anxiety attacks, then you’re more likely to look at the world through a nervous lens. Fearful people frequently have a habit of amplifying their perception of the risks around them, which means that they struggle to experience life to the fullest.
If you really want to live an amazing life and ensure that nothing stops you from achieving your goals, then you need to find a way of feeling and understanding your fears, but also keeping them in check.
Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway
Fear is a natural reaction to something that you’re unfamiliar with. For instance, if you’ve never driven a car before, you’re likely to feel uncomfortable when you first get behind the wheel. A certain amount of far is a good thing, because it enhances our ability to perform. When we’re fearful, or anxious, we’re forced to pay extra attention to the situation. Additionally, fear lets us know when we’re in a dangerous situation that we need to get out of.
Learning how to be “brave” isn’t about simply eliminating your fears or ignoring them completely. Even the bravest people are still afraid of certain things. Being brave means feeling your emotions and knowing how to tell the difference between helpful or unhelpful fear.
Like all emotions, fear sends an important message to your brain and body about how you’re perceiving your environment. Unfortunately, fear can often be difficult to decipher, particularly when you’re trying to make an important change in your life.
Anytime you make a change in your life that forces you to grow in some way, you need to step outside of the comfort zone that you’ve spent so long carefully building. A comfort zone is an environment that’s familiar, safe and comfortable. Within your comfort zone, your behaviours and activities fit a certain pattern that minimises your stress and risk levels. With a comfort zone, you have a state of mental security that makes you feel protected.
All the way back in 1908, two psychologists called John D. Dodson and Robert M. Yerkes said that comfort zones were designed to eliminate anxiety. However, sometimes we need to push the boundaries of this comfort zone if we’re going to grow as people. If you can’t step outside of your normal pattern, then you can’t evolve as a person.
For instance, if you’re the kind of person who prefers to stay at home instead of going out to parties, then home will be the place where you feel most comfortable. However, if you decide that you want to make more friends, then you’ll need to leave your comfort zone to encounter new social situations and people. Moving outside of your comfort zone will naturally lead to fear, the key is knowing the difference between fear that causes discomfort, and fear that causes distress.
Discomfort is something that we all experience when we’re doing something new. We’re anxious, but deep down we know that we’re doing the right thing, and we can feel excited about the outcome – even if we’re concerned about the process. On the other hand, distress is completely overwhelming – it’s something that stops you from doing what you want to do. If you’re distressed by your fear, then simply pushing yourself to do something anyway might not work. Instead, you need to learn how to see your strength, and overcome your fears.
Recognising Fear and Overcoming It
The first step in overcoming your fears is knowing how to recognise them. In times of fear, you’re likely to feel physical responses to a situation. For instance, you might:
- Notice an increase in heart rate
- Start breathing faster
- Feel your muscles go weak
- Feel dizzy
- Lose your appetite
- Feel very tense in your muscles
- Experience dry mouth
- Feel frozen to the spot
- Find it hard to concentrate
- Sweat a lot
- Feel your stomach churning
The physical reactions that happen in your body as a result of fear are preparing you to deal with an emergency. It’s a process called “Fight or Flight”, where your system gets a spike of adrenaline, your blood sugar increases, and your brain gets the ability to focus on anything that your body considers to be a threat.
Once you know how to recognise your feelings of fear, you can begin to question them. If you know why you’re feeling afraid, and whether your fear is justified, you can begin to break down the boundaries that are stopping you from achieving your goals. Start with the following process:
1. Identify your Fear
What’s making you feel afraid in this moment? If you’re not dealing with a fear problem right now, consider asking yourself what kind of fears you would like to overcome. For instance, this summer, you might wish that you could overcome your fear of swimming so that you can spend more time on the beach. However, when you start thinking about your anxieties, you can see that you’re more afraid of open water (like the sea) than swimming pools. This will help you to clarify your fears and start building a strategy you can use to tackle them. For instance, you can start building your confidence in calmer waters before ramping up to ocean swimming.
2. Treat Yourself with Compassion
Often, people respond to their fears with criticism and impatience. For instance, you might tell yourself that you’re “stupid” for being afraid of something that other people aren’t nervous about. However, if you can learn to understand your fears and have compassion for yourself, you’re far more likely to accomplish your goals. Think of it this way, a person running a marathon is far more likely to stay motivated and keep going if they have people cheering them on. Be your own cheerleader and give yourself the support that you deserve.
3. Face Your Fears One Step at a Time
Remember, fear is just an emotion, and it doesn’t have to determine what you do. As you continue to progress on your plan for facing your fears, use the support you’ve been giving yourself to help you overcome your feelings of anxiety. Make the decision to act and use your self-compassion to talk yourself through your nerves.
The Benefits of Leaving Your Comfort Zone
Facing your fears is a complicated process. As you attempt to overcome your feelings of anxiety, you might wonder why you should try leaving your comfort zone at all. The critical thing to remember is that sometimes, a little bit of fear can be good for you. Fear indicates that you’re pushing yourself to grow and stepping outside of your comfort zone allows you to unlock and explore your true potential.
Remember, although you might have a lot of fear-based goals that you want to accomplish, you don’t have to do everything at once. Often, the smaller steps are the most significant when it comes to approaching and overcoming fear. Small steps show you that you can succeed, while you may be more likely to want to take a step back with big steps.
As you progress, remind yourself of the following benefits that come from stepping outside of your comfort zone:
- You’ll have a chance to grow: Challenging yourself to leave your comfort zone will help you to reach your optimum performance level. Remember, you can’t expect to accomplish incredible things if you’re always sticking to the same routine. Learning new lessons and skills will help to give you new and exciting experiences in life.
- Learn more about yourself: Taking risks will also give you a chance to grow as an individual, teaching you about your passions, interests, strengths, and weaknesses. Every time you accomplish something new, you’ll become more confident in your abilities.
- Expanding your creativity: When you try something new, you might discover a hobby or something that you didn’t know you could do before. Challenging and new situations help you to find creative solutions for problems in your life too.
- Increase your self-confidence: As you tackle the unknown, you’ll remind yourself that you can successfully overcome your boundaries and self-limiting beliefs. This will improve your self-esteem and help you to challenge feelings of insecurity too.
Learn to deal with challenges: Life is full of fear and unpredictable events. It’s important to make sure that you have what it takes to challenge those fears head-on. Knowing that you overcame issues in the past will help you to regain your confidence and independence.
Easy Ways to Handle Your Fear
Ultimately, the best way to manage your fears is to face them. If you consistently avoid the situations that scare you, there’s a good chance you’ll end up missing out on the best experiences that life has to offer. Problems with anxiety can also increase if you get into a habit of avoiding your fears. Exposing yourself to your fears in a controlled way is a great way to overcome your pattern of avoidance. Here are some easy ways to get better control over your fears.
Get to Know Yourself
Be aware of your fear and the times when it’s the most distressing. Keep a diary or thought record so you can make a note of what happens as it happens. You can start by setting yourself small goals for facing your fears and make a list of the things you can do to help yourself when you’re feeling frightened. For instance, try stopping whatever you’re doing for a moment and taking a few deep breaths.
Exercise More Often
It might sound strange, but the amount of exercise you do can help a lot with feelings of stress and anxiety. Exercise requires constant concentration, and this helps to take your mind off whatever you’re nervous about. Additionally, exercise will release endorphins that help you to feel better emotionally.
Learn Relaxation Techniques
Learning how to manage your bodily responses and relax can help you with the physical and mental feelings of fear. Be aware of your body and the tension you’re holding throughout your joints and muscles. Breathe deeply and try to imagine yourself in a safe and relaxing place. You could even learn about the basics of meditation to help you.
Ultimately, fear is something that every human being encounters at various points through their lives. Even the most successful people regularly face feelings of fear. The key to success is learning how to manage your fear so that it doesn’t control your life. Remember, you’re stronger than your anxiety. If you can get control of your fear, you can accomplish anything.
Are you ready to overcome your fears once and for all?
